sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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