my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
