she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
