I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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