I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
