I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
