My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
