just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!