i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins