Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0