in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
