i think my tv is drunk
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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