I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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