So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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