he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
