Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
