i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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