help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
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If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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