I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why can't burritos get me drunk
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
