I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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