No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
