There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
