i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize