You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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