Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
