Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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