Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
