I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
