No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize