Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize