I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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