as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
