I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
