I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
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I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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