are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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