So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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