It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
