Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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