Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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