summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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