Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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