went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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