Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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