I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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