I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
