its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
