I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
