Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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