shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
