I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
