We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
