Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
