So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
