I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
