we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
