no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
