Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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