The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You were trust falling into bushes
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