ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
