This is not my ceiling
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
