So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize